Dark Poetry
when I feel the world is loading me up with anger
or pain I write.
Broken
How can I fix what I didn't break
I didn't tear you apart
I didn't cut you down
I didn't lie
I didn't cheat
I DIDN'T HURT YOU
I am NOT her
Is that a good thing
or is that the problem?
Can you ever see me for who I am?
Will I ever be good enough?
Will you ever be proud to be with me?
Will I ever be the right one
at the right time
in the right place
Or will I always be wrong.
Embarrass
Do I embarrass you?
Are you afraid of what they will say about me?
Are you afraid of what they will think of you
for being with me?
I wish I was what you need
I wish I was what you want
But I am none of those things
I am not beautiful
I don't impress your friends
Worse, I don't impress HER friends
We both know what they say about me
We both know that she thinks
You have failed for choosing me
Have you?
Am I your failure?
I am too big to be anyone's dirty little secret
I am too proud to hide
I just wish I was too strong to hurt
IN A LOOK
Who are you
To look at me like that
You stand there before me
Eyes opened, mind closed
You judge me by your standards
You judge me by memories of
The monteress of the nursery
Goddess of the home
Your first wet dream
And the first one whose love
You knew and doubted
You judge me by your mother and
Find me not so fair
So tall
So all
You look for less then a minute
Then judge me by your standards
You compare me to the first girl
You loved in the third grade
To the blond teacher
You thought of that first time
You locked the bathroom door
Ran the water
And let 13 years of pent up jizz
Slam against the cold tile wall
Then there was the redhead
In the ally who never asked or
Wanted to know your name
You compare me to the whore
Who told you her name was Glenda
Then charged you $25 and
Didn't even swallow
Then there was the last woman you fucked
Was it really 8 months ago?
You find me wanting
Too tall
Too big
Not blond
Not the first
Not the last
Not her
Who are you to look at me like that?
If you truly disapprove
Then look me in the eyes
Come on little boy
Those aren't my eyes
Look up how can you judge me
When you can't even see my face
REAL
I know that I will never be as beautiful as an angel,
Or as graceful as a swallow in flight.
I will never dance like a leaf in the breeze,
And I will never be your dream.
My voice isn't pure.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not a fantasy.
I'm flesh and blood.
I'm real.
I love and feel.
I hurt and dream.
I have never lied to you.
I have never hurt you.
I'm real.
I'm not a memory,
Not her.
Not perfect.
I'm good and caring.
I'm true and honest.
I'm real,
And that's enough
Whether you realize it or not.
YOUR WORST ENEMY
They rape your soul with all of their rules
and all of their do's and don'ts
Until you no longer know yourself
Your value, not who you are
but what they make you
What is Your Name?
Do you even know?
They've left you nothing
Not even your name
They rape your mind
Slaughter your hopes
They take away your dreams
and you let them
Who Are They?
Look in to the mirror
and say hello to your
own worst Enemy
88/
LAST LIGHT
Death is the quick way out
The End of pain
The End of joy
The end of life as we know it
Never to worry about Love
Never to be Loved
No more happiness
No more hope
Nothing
Look hard at the last sunset
you'll ever see
This is the end
87
Words written in the dark.
Do you know what its like going through life
never quite looking the mirror in the eyes
because you hate what you see there
Always taking the easy way out
because its the only way you know how
Do you know what its like looking to escape any way you can
Always seeking heaven in someone else's eyes
then putting your self through hell cause its not what you
needed
Never trusting anyone because you think its the only way you
wont get hurt
and knowing you will anyway
do you know what it's like
I HOPE NOT
I have angels.
I have angels
whispering in my ears
playing on my fears
Soft black wing
leading me astray
Wrapping me in feathers of gold
I have angels
Seducing my soul
eyes of fire burning deep
Angels carrying my dreams on high
taking me up into the suns burning light
Soft black wings strike at my mind
Expose my pain
tear me apart
for all to see
STREET
You tell me to be good
But what I do best
You say is bad
What you call sin
I call love
Who's right?
Who's wrong?
Who cares?
You say I'm going to hell
But I've got to be gong to heaven
I've already been through hell
You tell me that I am doing wrong
But you can't show me what is right.
You live for the day
Where all is black and white
(mostly white)
I live for the night
Where everything is just
Darker shades of gray
It takes me in and holds me tight
There are no tears in the dark
We're all the same
Sinners and saints
(all cats are black at night)
We're all just looking for a lover's touch
And living for the sweet lies
That helps us make it through the night
You say it is bad
But it feels so good
You could never give me love
So I took the next best thing
Until I could no longer tell the difference
Now you want to save me
For what?
My soul is stainless
It is my heart that is scarred
The night is cold
And heaven is a long ways gone
But hell is just a thought away
So come close and burn with me
MOTHER EARTH
We kill our mother
Take her life
With our poisons and our flames
We rape her virgin soul
With our blades
And our machines
We take her lifeblood
And give back only bile
We do not hear her cries
We turn away
From her screams
We take and take
Until there is nothing left
And then we expect more
Until our mother
Can not feed us
Can not shelter us
Until all is gone
88
TRUE TOLD LIES
Push me
Pull me
Tear me apart
Dive into my soul
Scream my name
In the last fires light
Rip me
Strip me
Cold and Bare
Force my frozen heart
Deeper into the snow
Then tell me the truth
Like a lie
I wouldn't believe you anyway
Try me
Buy me
Dreams of gold
I haven't any of my own
Know me
Show me
The way it is
The way it was
With another true told lie
Something like I love you
NIGHTMARE
I run through the darkness
My heart pounding in my throat
My breath ripping my chest apart
Fear beating against my back
I stumble and fall
I can feel it closer to me
Reaching out to tear my mind apart
With a desperate effort I am away
Running
Darkness pushing at me
Trying to drag me back
Attempting to wrap me in the damp stench
Of my fear
I claw at the night
Trying to sink my fingers into the darkness
Trying to rip my way free
I feel fear swimming in my blood like a living thing
Making every nerve scream
I run
Until there is nowhere else to go
I push desperately against the nothingness
Only to feel my own fears closing around my throat
Like claws then ripping at my soul
I burst free
To find myself wrapped in sweat
And gasping for every breath
Laying on my own bed with only my fears
To keep me company through the night
89
