SAT FEB 22 2003

My Sweetie Travis came to visit and I just have not had time to blog to I am doing a seperate blog for his trip here, but here is some of the other things that have happened.

SAT FEB 22

My Dad called around 5 pm and told me that Sally Jo was not feeling good enough to use the season tickets a member of GARF who is high up in The Boise Philharmonic gave to them and would I like to use them. I asked Travis if he would mind if I took my grandma with me and he was so sweet about it so I got ahould of her and she and I went to see a wonderful production that included music by Arron Copeland and Mozart just two of my favorites as well as two lesser know compossers. we had fabulous balcony seats, third row slightly off center, which is great because unlike the floor you can see the performers perfectly.

The Morrison Center for Performing Arts has some of the best sound quality west of the Mississippi, in fact until about 7 years ago it was rated the finest and is now rated 3rd so a performance there is amazing. It was also nice to have an excuse to dress up with grandma.

I had been lucky and had just a week or so before bought a full length black valour long sleeve empire waist dress at Catherines for $20 on clearence, so it was a chance to wear it.

I got back home around 10:30 and Travis and I decided to go out for a drink so by the time he got dressed to go out and I changed from a formal kind of dress to a party type dress it was about 11:30 but we still decided to go out anyway since we are both such late night people.

 FRI FEB 07 2003  Part 2

Well Travis (TravisAKATank) will be here to visit on the 13th and I am trying to come through with my New years resolution to get my house all organized and everything. I have to admit for the longest time... well forever.... when I cleaned I would basicly get these big plastic boxes and just put stuff in them and stick them in the closet, under my dresser and in my utility room (yes I sorted them out enough to have a vauge idea what was in what box)

And then when I wanted something I would go dig around in a box, find it, get it out and then start making a mess of everything again cause I had no place to put anything in this little apt. and I could never get it all organized. So I have finally invested A LOT of money in things to organize my place with. I have bought metal shelves for the kitchen

FRI FEB 07 2003 

I just posted this to my supersize_bbw_goths group on Yahoo, the question came up about what was Goth and how did it affect us being big and stuff.... here was my response.

To the list.....

That is funny this just came up at lunch with grandma... I was reading the weekly free press and they had an article about book on how to be a "hipster"
And I mentioned to her that it seemed to me it is much better to be totally unhip in your own way then to try to emulate someone elses idea of something from a book be it hipness, Gothness or yuppieness.

And in fact the one thing you could bet a real goth would probably never do is READ a book on HOW TO BE GOTH.....lol
Of course not a half a min later the article mentions that the one thing a hipster would never do is ADMIT to having read the book.... do you see a difference???

Anyway I am cracking up as it lists things that are DEET (I think that was it ...i.e cool... oh yeah never say cool)) and things that were FIN ((i.e...over with)) goth being one of them and a bunch of others and how you have to brutally look down your nose at things that are FIN and I was thinking HOW FUCKING BORING....

But then I think that about GOTHS ((note, not Goths with a capital G but ALL CAPITALS these are the ones who HAVE read "GOTH HAND BOOK" ... and follow it to the letter!))

 They ONLY have BLACK clothes.... {not even a bit of blood red or purple to liven it up} They ONLY listen to the Official GOTH bands.... {not even the really great classical stuff or more bizarre art band stuff} If the band themselves does not proclaim themselves goth then they don't listen.... They only buy clothes from Official goth shops. They only decorate in certain ways.... {never shall a campy bit of 60s retro touch their spider web strewn halls.}

To me Goth should be fun, it should be a bit Pointed tongue in (possibly pierced) cheek.... We need not to only laugh at the world but at ourselves and at each other.....

Goth is dramatic and drama is often best with a moment of humor to throw you off balance.
The worse thing a Goth can become is a cliche' and sad to say the Goth movement has done that a lot, I think a lot of people are really comfortable in that cliche and as fat people we break that cliche and it pisses them off.....

Thankfully more and more wild and brave people are flipping retro bejeweled and glitter painted middle fingers at the cliche of tall, thin, ONLY black clad, morbid-deathhead gothiness and saying "HEY Laugh it up PEOPLE....cause you know they are laughing at us, you know they are staring, well fucking make them look at us on OUR terms!!!!! Have a little fucking fun here!"

Goth is being redefined, PVC, leather, lace, satin, silk, and Color, deep rich and even wild.... we are able to claim our piece of the club culture and we big people are able to say "there is no way in hell you are leaving us out of this dance" and as the party opens up we are finding there is finally a place for us more and more....

And the lucky thing? ...A BIG part of goth has always been attitude so hey if someone who is "GOTHIER Then Thou" flips you shit for your ample ways.... well flip them the one thing that is truly GOTHIC.... a big ass helping of attitude.

 WED FEB 05 2003

I never once in my life claimed to be a mechanical genius But YES I DO know how to but transmission fluid in a car, I have just gotten so use to the car running sooooooo bad that I did not think to check and I had the oil checked not that long ago. ... why i mean it was only due to be checked again in November.....LOL

And when it was checked last they added only half a quart and said it looked fine. Well I guess in the last 5 months it has gotten a serious leak because in the last week it has been acting a ton worse the it has usually, which is pretty bad. It was doing that thing where I would be at a light a light and it would surge but the last two days it did a new thing I would go to excelerate and it would just rev but not go faster and I would have to slip it in neutral and back in drive.

I went to Chefs Hut for lunch Tuesday and mentioned it and the guys there (there are a bunch of these guys who hang out there and have lunch and coffee and talk and they are very nice) all said it was the transmission and to get TransEx and check the levels.

So after lunch I drove to Shucks and was standing there with the hood open and transmission stick out and well smoke was coming out of the transmission pipe....bad sign, and I was having a hard time reading the stick. These guys pull up and look at me and I ask "So it probably should not be smoking out of where you check the transmission huh?"

They look at each other and laugh and come over and check the stick, the reason I could not check it was, well it was not getting any on it, the guy told me it was at least 1 1/2 to 2 quarts low. So I go inside and figure I had better do this right if I want this car to last at all and I head for service clerk and tell him the situation and get him to get me the right stuff.

I use to have to put transmission fluid in one of my other cars but it has been 10 years and I use to put the cheapest stuff so I figured spending a few more bucks might be worth it in the long run. Some people may say it is unfeminist to get guys to help you, BULLSHIT, if it had been a woman who had driven up and she had known what was what I would have asked her and same with the clerk, I just go to the first person who knows what is going on cause it was not me. I DO know how to put it, I do know how to check it, I was just not sure if I was seeing it right cause it has been a long time and I could not remember how it looked.

Anyway the clerk got me 2 Qts of DexronIII and some special kind TranEX and it came to $14 and I put one Qt in the some TranEx and STILL it was low. The two guys came out and looked again and told me to put the other bottle in and I did, it was still a 1/2 qt low but they said to run it a week and let the tranEX do its thing and then see.

You know I hear a lot about studies where a woman in a fat suit gets ignored and the same woman out of it gets help. And I am sure it is true, but you know I wonder how she acts in that suit, if being in it makes he very self-conscious?

Now I know there are people who do not look at me, their eyes just glaze off of me, it is like I have a magic shield but the truth is I have been big all my adult and teenage life (from about 12 on) and I don't know any other way. I have to take the word of women who gain later in life who tell me it is different when they were smaller.

But you know as I gained my self esteem things changed for me, of course it is hard to ignore a 420+ pound woman who is wearing a knee length Jewel tone Purple Velvet Dress and a Leopard print fleece coat with flaming red hair and a big smile who is determined to say hi. And if she happens to be joking about her car smoking well lets be honest men love to help with cars.

I know for a fact that on the days I feel like crap about myself those are the days I get crap from teenage boys, on the days I am bouncing around looking like a diva (or not even looking it just feeling it) they seem to know better.

So maybe if I stood in the street with a ton of luggage I may not get as many offers as a skinny mini...ON the other hand I have the nerve to ask someone if they would help me and if they say no I have the nerve to ask someone else.

Please COMMENT

 TUE FEB 04 2003

When I was a teenager there use to be this cartoonist who did a really great one panel strip, I know he himself was handcapped and so he got away with doing a lot of strips about the handicapped and other stuff and I think he was the one who did this one that has always stuck in my mind. I can not remember his name though.

Every year we would go to the fair and they would have the booth where if you threw enough darts in the same poster you got it.

The one I remember year after year was this guy picking his soaking wet cat ((who is wearing a little scuba tank and snorkle)) out of the back of the toilet tank and saying.....

""YOU CAN COME OUT NOW FLUFFY THE LANDLADY IS GONE""

I thought that was so funny and of course when I moved into my own place and faced landlords who didn't understand how important my pets were I really understood it.

Well the funny thing is when I first moved in here about 4 years ago I had a cat and I got them to agree to let me keep keep him and I had started to make payments on a pet deposit then my heart got broken when he ran away, and my landlady agreed to let me stop paying on it.

 So fast forward about 3 years later and I get the kittens without asking and I am afraid to ask cause if they say no then I will out and out be breaking the rules, so I have spent all this time since Aug being paranoid.

Well monday when I paid rent I finally asked cause someone who came to look at the other side of the duplex mentioned the ad said pets ok... my landlady said ....

SURE T'RINA NO PROBLEM WE WILL JUST FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU PAID AND START FROM THERE.

Now of course I am slapping myself on the head going what the hell have I been so paranoid for???? My landladies attitude was well I could care less though when I told her I would go get the cat that day she did give me that look like "yeah I just bet you will"..... mind you she still only thinks it is one cat but hey I will just break it too her slowly.

Please COMMENT

 SUN FEB 02 2003

And yet again more Boring random stuff:

So my cat tries to give me a big old heart attack today with worry... and just proves that he is not only a BOY kitty but a SIAMESE...BRAT.

I worry about their teeth cause the vet said they were born with a bad case of ginavitis which is why the little monsters only get soft food about twice a week ((though they have begging down to an art form)) so today I had a bunch of meat I got on sale ... the advantage of living behind a grocery store is you know when they clear the butcher block and sale off their meat cheap... and was packaging it up. I decided to do it at the rolling trolly in the front room on a cookie sheet covered in foil so I could watch something on line and I was of course being hounded by the ravenous ones.

I got to a pack of lamb cut of stew and I decided to give them some... I sliced it even smaller and tossed them each some... Princess Fatbutt pigged down on hers while Nepo PickyPants just chewed on his... Princess was done and I kept giving her more but Nepo just kept chewing so i took his piece away and gave him one I knew was very soft... Here I am thinking oh no his teeth are sore!

He barely nibbles it and leaves it, she is still wolfing down lamb, I call grandma and ask her about it and she suggest he may not like lamb, I try steak which I know he likes, same reaction but he barely tastes it before spitting it out and she wolfs it down.... Princess is a BBW Kitty a really fatty.

SO here I am worrying and I hang up with grandma and go to put the food in my over stuffed and desperate for a deforst freezer and on a hunch I take some of the stir fry strips I had bought super cheap and sliced up to freeze to give to the cats once in a while and called Nepo up on there SPECIAL FEEDING TABLE and not only did he eat it up there he damn near took my fingers off getting to it.

LITTLE FUCK... what a boy. has to be served just the way he wants. And me the smuck of a mommy cat spoiled him and gave him more....LOL

 As I have written before I am on this quest to for once in my life be organized.... hey I am ONLY 34 I think it is about time right? So I bought all these shelves and stuffs for the kitchen and I am trying to get it fixed up, the big bonus is that for once since I have lived here I can stock up on canned food and good deals

I have never had cupboard space but I think I may have gone a WE bit nuts...LOL they had progresso soup for a buck and I now have tons of clam chowder, corn chowder, split pea with ham and potato with broclli and cheese as well as my yams, (got to have my yams...LOL) and raviolis I also bought dry cerial and a BUNCH of instance flavored oatmeals on sale. I LOVE looking at my shelves all organized with the food on them.

I also have been stocking up on frozen stuff since my friend Travis is coming to visit on the 13th and is staying for a while and I want to make sure I have enough stuff... like I said I always get AMAZING deals on meat so my freezer full and I get really good deals on frozen veg as well.

Well I had NO idea HOW full my freezer was till today when I put a few more items in it and decided to defrost it and take my frozen stuff to my grandmas deep freeze. I had bought some chicken and steak and it came to not too much stuff a gallon bag and some quarts and if my freezer did not have 3 inches of ice on top of it ((yeah yeah I know big mistake)) I would have no problems..but I had gone nuts at a $.13 cent friday the 13th sale and stocked up on frozen barritos and pot pies ((dont ask me why the barritoes)) and they kept falling out and I finally had to take them out.

SO I loaded everything up... everything that had fit lastnight minus this last little bit of meat ... filled TWO white round regular size laundry baskets and THREE grocery bags

No one can figure how I got it all in my freezer, now that it is out *I* can not figure it out, I alway score very high on IQ tests like between 138 and 145 and I always ace spacial relations and I guess this is proof. Mind you I think even after I defrost I am leaving the barritoes in the deep freeze....LOL

Please COMMENT

 FRI JAN 31 2003 ~~ PART 2

LOL My dad is a very cool guy to say the least.

I was driving out of the store parking lot today and had to wait for someone to turn in from the alley I use to get home ((I live right behind it)) when my dad pulls up and gets out of his jeep and starts walking towards me already pulling out his wallet and comes up to my car. I roll down my window and he hands me some money and ruffles my newly trimmed hair and says "HAPPY SPRING LITTLE GIRL" (Yes that is what he calls me) and he just laughs and walks back to the jeep and takes off, he had only pulled in cause he saw me.

Today was the first really warm day so far, it got to 60 and even though it was cloudy it felt so good and sometimes my dad is just like, he is like me if he has money he will share anything he can.

My dad is a really amazing man, recently he told me of how he felt after they taught a one week National Coral Farming Seminar at the Veracruz Public Aquarium. He was standing there with Drs, men with PHDs, Vetanarians specializing in marine mammals, the directors of 3 major aquariums in Latin America and they are all listening raptly to every word he and my step mom (who learned a great deal of what she knows from him) has to say and he suddenly realizes there is not a guy in the room with less then a Graduates Degree and he suddenly thinks "Well I graduated from High School."

But you know that does not change the fact that in that room he is the expert, that he is the one who writes for magazines and books, that he is the one who the PHDs come to see.

My Dad has always said find out what you love to do and find out how to make it pay you to live the way you want. He has always loved fish and when I was growing up he was always building fish stores then selling them. In Boise there are two historical streets that are the fancy old places to live, Harrison Blvd and Warm Springs Ave.

Warm Springs is just that, it is on a Geothermal hot water springs and all the houses are heated with it. My dad grew up very poor (as did my mom) and when he grew he told everyone "I am going to live in a big house on Warm Springs some day" Everyone pretty much laughed.

By the time I was 14 my dad was living in our house on Warm Springs and running his pond business out of the back, he was using Geothermal hot water to raise ornamental pond plants and fish and hiring people to dig peoples ponds and landscape them. I lived with him there during my later teens and I tell you if I am never knee deep in mud in a pond again in my life I will be happy....LOL

My dad got away from the pond business when it became over saturated and he began to become interested in coral, salt water tanks always being his love. He realized there was a huge need for FARMED coral since we could not keep harvesting corals, in many places it is rightly illegal and a horrible blight to reefs. Most corals do not grow slow (except stony corals), in nature they simply have a ton of things against them, the action of the ocean, the predators the eat them, bleaching, all work to diminish them and their only means of reproduction is through nature and that is slow. So in fact it is the REEFS that grow slow.

In a proper setting done right many of these soft corals and some of the others and be propagated at amazing rates, give the right food, light, Ph, temp water movement it is simply amazing. I have seem my Step mom get one sample of something new and special maybe the size of a mans fists and with in 6 months she has 100 small samples of it ready to ship and she still half of the original piece intact in one of her amazing tanks.

My Dad took his hobby and not only made a very profitable deal out of it he made something that is helping to save the oceans, he is teaching people to restructure damaged reefs like in Veracruz and the corals they are growing have been used in medical research for all kinds of things.

My dads other hobby is computers and he is wholly self taught and I tell you he is really amazing he does some truly interesting stuff and he is like a kid with a new toy every time he gets a new program, it is wonderful to see. I am very lucky to have LeRoy as my dad it certainly has been interesting...LOL

 FRI JAN 31 2003

CENSORSHIP, FREE SPEECH, AND COMING TO TERMS WITH IT.

I am a serious advocate of free speech, and as any long time fan of my site knows I have face censorship myself in the form of being banned from Geocities for having a site that was deemed "vulgar and Lewd" funny thing there I keep running into sex sites on geo but no one complained yet so they are still up.

And in general I believe that free speech extends to art and all aspects of expression. So I do sometimes run into conflicts with my feminist side that despises depictions of women as weak and stupid, I am in no way anti porn my self enjoying images of certain things.

BUT I do believe that certain things do not belong in a public venue and that we do have to have certain limits, I just get nervous at who decides those limits. I recently subscribed to a service called Picsfetch that allows you to harvest jpgs, gifs and zips from messages and albums of your Yahoo groups without all the clicking. You can get a basic or premium membership either is great but I choise the Premium for 3 months and this gives me access to their archive of 250,000 pre-collected images from other groups without having to join those groups.

Anyway before I go on and anyone thinks I am a prude you would have to see my hard drive and the stuff I save just for me (none of this is to post anywhere) I collect antique erotica, Bettie Page, really really OLD porn the stuff before 1910, Ziegfeld girl pics, Erotic cartoons (funny ones, antique Fem-domme ones and Etienne cartoons -if you don't know who that is and do know who Thom of Finland is imagine him gone very rough trade) as well as BBW pics to draw from. I also collect fantasy art just to look at.

In general I figure anything done between adults in real life or in art is alright unless it is really clearly stated and obvious that it is a REAL LIFE pic of a rape or abuse scene then it is something you have to take into consideration the situation. But what I can not accept and think no one should is the abuse real or on art of children and today I came across some so startling I had to do something that was really hard for me.

Picsfetch recently put up a note on their archives stating that "We recently became aware that some of the pictures in the archive were objectionable. Since the system gathers them automatically and indiscriminately, we cannot filter them at the source. However, we are implementing a system to filter them out." And I thought oh no, who and what will they decide is objectional? They don't dare say gays, believe me it is a huge piece of their market, Domination? I hope not, now if you did who is to say what level of domination is ok? And is it ok for a woman to Domme a man and not the other way around? .... Believe me there are plenty of kinks. And there are a few clubs that hint that some of their members are a little young but none come right out and say it.

Well here is the thing, they have over 250,000 pics in archive and it grows all the time, how will do this? are they going to scan the pics manually for certain things and what things..... so my mind was going on this and I was thinking of this blog and was flipping through the archives looking for cartoon and erotic art groups when I hit one with a name I will not mention.

WELL....... HUM.... UMMMMM. I THINK I MAY BE ILL

You can pull up like 50 pics at a time ((LOVE DSL)) and so I had a whole page of these things and know it was not just one. I do not know the artist, I don't want to know. They were terrifying pictures of very young girls preteens and young teens being tortured and mangled... I dragged the scrolled bar down.... surly there could only be a few. Black and white....Hyper realistic.... Almost like photos... the details were sickening as children were tortured.

I know there were more of these cartoons I saw at least 10 it was the last two that made me almost ill and I have a very strong stomach. The drawing of a girl in a glass cage her breast amputated and in a jar shown as an exhibit and a another where a maybe 13 year old has been nailed to the table by hers. Right now over an hour and an half later I feel like my mind has been raped. I feel abuse by what I saw and I don't want to close my eyes for a long time.

I used the scroll bar to rip to the bottom of the page only confirming that these went on a long way and then paged back to get the clubs name and checked Yahoo, it was still there. I sat there looking at the group I did not join, I do not know if the art is still there, and then I did something that was soooo hard for me.

I flied a complaint with Yahoo. I believe in free speech, I could have handled this if it had been pictures of adult women, I would have been sick to my stomach and cussed up a storm and said things about what a sick fuck this guy was... but I would have handled it. But there was no doubt what so ever that these were pics of young girls.

I have seen femdom-art group where ADULT men and women are put through amazing torture by women...OK no biggie they are adults, I have seen SuperheroineXdestruction which is mostly the art of this one guy who does this one bizarre heroine who is always caught and facing the weirdest abuse but it is so out there and silly it is not something you take too seriously.
"

This stuff means nothing to me it is just stuff to look at, but I would hate to see it gone but I guess I answered my own question, yes there is a line and we have to keep from crossing it.... but there remains the question how do you censor for the very minute line crossers, the child stuff, without killing the whole scene.

I gave Yahoo the numbers of the posts and told them I hoped sincerely that they do not delete the list. I have always told people who post to my lists if you post anything that sexualizes kids I will not ban you UNTIL I have reported you to Yahoo.... group moderators should probably take a sharper stand if they want to protect their groups.

Maybe to some people it seems weird I feel a little torn and others might think I should have said nothing. It is just hard, walking a line of free speech vr protecting certain things.

Please COMMENT

TUE JAN 28 2003

I just ordered myself a new toy and I am thrilled silly about it....

I have been hearing about this particular toy for years and I put off getting one because they cost a lot to be honest and even now I really can not afford it but with the sales of my vids and stuff I have bought things for my house and done a few fun things and was really Santa Claus for Christmas for the first time but I really have not bought anything big for just for ME.

So I was reading BUST MAGAZINE's Book "The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order " and is so often the case in BUST they had a good long article going on about the miracles of the my new toy.

Now people call the Hitachi Magic Wand the "Cadillac of vibrators" and they are right, they are built top of the line, they are costly and they are a status symbol. BUT as much as they are a Cadillac of vibes they are also the God of massagers and I will tell you one thing, no battery operated $15 job no matter what shape or fancy color (even with glitter) will every give multiples AND take the amazing pain I have been feeling out of the back of my neck all in the same hour.

NOW I am not dissing battery operated toys, believe me they have their place ((though the Hitachi has some nice attachments which might just take their place --I ordered one and I am not tell which--NANANA)) Though I love bright colors and glitter in my every day life I have to admit in 'certain' things I like sleek black lines....LOL

Of course they do tend to turn on under the bed sometimes and scare the hell out of you at the weirdest times for no known reason.

And of course nothing is going to replace the person of my choice... well except maybe in the shoulder massage area... but nothing is better then having someone you care about use your wonderful massager on your sore back....LOL

 I actually read a lot about the HITACHI MAGIC WAND before I bought it even though I had seen so many people suggesting it and I was amazingly lucky and found a site that had a great deal.

Where Betty Boob and Celina Hex (editors) write their accounts of their first trips to get a HITACHI MAGIC WAND and then using them.

Another great and funny as hell site about the quest for justice and a HITACHI MAGIC WAND is magicwand4katie.com

The on going story if how Katie Surrence is trying to get Dan Savage of the Seattle Stranger to give her the HITACHI MAGIC WAND he so truly owes her and has so wrongly and spitefully kept from her for so long... the S.O.B.

Now on the other hand if you ever wanted to know MORE then you ever needed to know about how to use a HITACHI MAGIC WAND and about orgasms in general I would say check out the amazing site by Dr. Betty Dodson.

In case your not up on your feminist lit and history Betty is the one of the ones who in the early seventies said "hey you know this sexual revolution is sort of a bust so far folks. All that is happening is is women are getting fucked a lot, and we do mean fucked as in fucked over. Yeah we are having a lot of sex, but it seems as if the guys are having all the fun. They say hey if you are not willing to have sex freely you are not liberated and yet no one seems to be too stressed out about how much fun we are having.... ummm ladies did you know you are allowed to DEMAND equal fun? You can insist you get your rocks off too. And if he says no, you can walk cause guess what? You can do it on your own."

And Betty went a step farther she actually taught women HOW to enjoy it on their own and then taught Men and Women how to enjoy it together.

Not bad if you ask me. She also basically brought the idea of the HITACHI MAGIC WAND as more then a back massager out in the open.

Please COMMENT

 MON JAN 27 2003

Confessions of a Net Addict:

Do you ever get the feeling that something is conspiring to keep you from doing something?

This is how I am starting to feel about my blog, first I was suffering from the SAD so bad I could stay awake long enough to write in it and then when I started sleeping 14 hours but only at night I had such a lack of motivation I did not want to write most days. Then I finally start to feel a little bit better and my OCD comes on full force and I find myself scouring Yahoo groups for pictures to draw and any funky old thing catches my attention, searching all kinds of odd sites for weird things and wasting so much time while I talk to my guy friend for hours on end (no that is not a waste of time) that I never write in my blog.

I am now facing a new problem... sever pain in my hands from all the clicking, both typing and worse right and left clicking through albums and messages by the thousands. And still I find myself on the computer trying to use my left hand till it also hurts.

I find myself having to admit I am a complete net addict..... I think of it when I get up even if I have only been asleep a few hours and I will keep going even when I am in pain.

I keep looking through the pics even after I am totally sick of them. I will be on when I am so tired I can not stand it.

I have got to take a break from it, I know there is no such thing as cold turkey for me so I am taking a Yahoo groups break except for my lists I moderate, I plan to start writing in my blog more since I plan to only be on line short periods of time I will try to make sure one of them is to blog.

One of the things that brought this to the forefront was realizing that I was looking for all these pics to draw and right now I could not draw because of the pain if I wanted to.

Oh well we are often our own worst enemies and I intend to call a truce with my addiction.

Please COMMENT